The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Self-Love

Benjamin Button is born old and gets younger as his life goes by. I can relate. I felt like I was born a very old man because I couldn't access my feelings. They were locked deep within me. On the outside I did my best to relate to others, but within I was confused and lost. I felt like my feelings were slipping on ice. I couldn't get a grip on them. 

But with time I came to feel more emotionally grounded. I felt that my feelings crystalized. I didn't like everything I felt, but at least I could name the feeling I was going through. But it took decades to come to know myself from the inside out. And to love myself was something that didn't even occur to me until I hit my fifties.

Then, suddenly, I realized that my purpose in life was to know me. And to know me was to love me. Suddenly I began to grow young too. Although most people are born you and grow old, I was born old and grew young. But I can only say that was the case because I came to love myself. Without my esteem, respect and compassion I was a beggar taking emotional handouts from others. I had no spiritual wealth. The richness of life came when I could celebrate my feelings - all of them.