Saturday, August 8, 2009

Seeing or Hearing

  There are two types of social forces acting on our world. I'm going to describe them in the extreme although most people are a combination of both, of course. 
  One type of person was born into this world, became terrified of what he saw around him and covered his eyes to protect himself from the horrors of the world. The other type, equally terrified, covered his ears to protect himself from all he heard around him. I belong to the formercategory. I can hear, but I'm blind.
  But I'm going to talk about the metaphorically deaf first since most people are deaf. These are the sort of people who go to a neighborhood bar to meet their neighbors and friends from time to time. They enjoy the music, the banter, playing pool and downing a pint or two. People who are metaphorically deaf enjoy music that forces them to stand closer than normal to the person they're talking to. They unconsciously exaggerate their facial expressions and body language to make themselves understood. This is the sort of person who might admire sports figures for they strive to express themselves through their posture. They're very attentive to physical features, not wishing to judge people for how they look. Instead they determine the sincerity and trustworthiness of others through the confidence they exude through their body.
  Those like me who are metaphorically blind need a quiet place to commune with others. They're listening to the tone of voice used in conversation. They glean respect and admiration through intellectual polish and clever speech. They don't judge people by the confidence they exude through their body, but by the confidence in their tone of voice.
  Although there are really few people who are completely socially deaf or blind, you can just imagine how difficult it would be for them to communicate if they were. How do the physically deaf communicate with those who are blind? It can't be easy. And when I read the headlines each day I realize that there are many metaphoric problems that turn into real life threatening situations because some people are socially deaf and others socially blind.
  I'm the sort of person who loves to write because I have a big mouth and don't always have someone to talk to. I'm always looking for people who are deep listeners. So I've found myself in the company of those who are socially blind most of the time. I'd even say that I'm socially extremely "near-sighted." I'm the sort of guy who goes to a bar alone and within five minutes feel so self-conscious and uncomfortable that I run out the door. 
  But thanks to self-love I've learned to look within and see myself. For some reason I have good inner vision even though I'm so socially myopic. And in coming to see myself clearly from within I've come to terms with my vision problems. I can even say that I'm content being the way I am. Not everyone has such good inner eyesight. In fact, the more I see myself clearly, the more I seem to be able to see socially better as well.
  Naturally I've written this blog for people who have great social hearing. I've tried to fashion this piece like a concerto. I've tried to make my ideas mellifluous. I want them to harmonize with themes you've come to know and love.
  Becoming someone who feels like a part of the human race requires good listening and observing skills. We've all got to learn to trust one another, and since experience tells us that there are those out there who would hurt us economically, emotionally or even physically, we need to use our senses to avoid difficulties. 
  I always knew there was something wrong with me, but I had a hard time expressing it to others. Now that I know that my social senses are not as focused as I'd like them to be, I can see how I've profited in other, internal, ways.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

  In Hebrew and the Romantic languages there are two words for the one word in English "to tell." One verb is used in expressions like, "Don't tell me what to do." Nobody likes to be "told" anything these days, and I'm certainly no different in that respect. I didn't like being told what to do when I was a child, and nothing has changed since then. It's not surprising to me that the word in French for this meaning of "to tell" is "demander." I feel like people are demanding things of me when they tell me anything.
  But the other verb for "to tell" in other languages translates clearly in the sentence, "Tell me a story." It has the meaning of "to recount." In fact, in Portuguese the word "contar" means to count and to tell. And this has great spiritual connotations that we miss in English because we don't "count" our stories. We "tell" them.
  To explain myself here I have to go back to mystical Judaism where the word and explain another word, the word "rina." "Rina" translates as "The Song of God." In mystical Judaism God sings His song to humanity, a song like any other that is made up of a melody and lyrics. The melody of God's song, however, is "heard" by the heart. We call it our feelings. And the lyrics of God's song and the do's and don't that we're "told" to obey. Everyone wants to learn the melody; nobody much cares for the lyrics...
  When a story is "recounted" to us our heart immediately begins to count the mystical beat, the rhythm of God's song. We want to enjoy the feelings we perceive that come to us when we're told a story. Music, art, dance, sculpture - these are all ways in which we learn to count the rhythm of God's melody. There is a mystical beat in all the arts that we perceive with the heart.
  Nobody wants to be told what to do, and yet everyone wants to be told what to do. This is an enigmatic perspective that can't be fully expressed in English. We all want to feel deeply and passionately about life. Yet nobody wants to be told what to do.
  The problem of not liking being told what to do can't be avoided. I've tried to tell myself what I need to do, and it hasn't worked either. I won't even let ME tell me what to do! And this is a problem that can't be solved with self-love.
  As much as I love myself, I still won't listen to me if I try to tell myself what to do. It didn't work with dieting. It didn't work with trying to talk myself out of the men I loved. My feelings are my feelings, and they aren't going to change just because I "demand" it of myself. I also tried begging, asking nicely, giving myself ultimatums and bribes. I'm incorrigible. Nothing helped! 
  I have to be told a story. I have to listen to the melody of life and count the beat in a new way. I have to feel differently, but passionately in order to act differently.